Being a SAHM

I have written this blog post in my head so many times, trying to find all the right words to sum up my life at this point... I don't think it will ever be possible, but here is my go!

Being a mom has shown me a whole new sort of love.  When I met Brayton and fell in love, I thought I had found the ultimate feeling of love, and then it just kept growing and growing.  The day I married him, I felt a whole new sort of love again, stronger than I knew possible.  As our life went on, I continued to love him more and more every day.  Last year when we found out we were pregnant and having twins, I fell in love again with my husband, but also found a new love in my children.  I wasn't sure I could fit any more love in my heart, then those babies grew and started moving and kicking and I fell MORE in love with them!  On February 13, 2014, I felt a love like one I've never felt before, when I saw my babies for the first time.  My heart was full, there wasn't any space left for more love, or so I thought.  Then, on February 14, 2014, Valentine's Day, I found space for more love as my tiny babies were placed in my arms for the first time.  They filled my heart with more pride and joy and love than I knew was possible.  Apparently, my heart keeps getting bigger and finding more room because as my girls grew in the NICU and gained strength I continued to fall more and more in love.  Today, as they are learning to smile and laugh, recognize and need me, snuggle on my chest, I find myself falling more and more in love.  Every time their face lights up with a smile, I can feel myself melting and I couldn't possibly love someone more!  I cannot wait to see the love continue to grow every day as my precious, 3 pound babies continue to grow into perfect little girls.    

Because of many things in our life right now, I have been so fortunate to be able to be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) and spend every day with my girls.  Honestly, I am so glad because I don't think I could go back to work if I had to.  After 6 weeks of having to constantly leave them, I am more than ready to not have to do it again, anytime soon!  I often find myself missing them and rushing to get home after a short trip to the grocery store when they are home with Daddy!  I also believe that I would have an incredibly hard time finding someone to leave them with!  After going through the challenges we faced in the NICU, watching their precious faces turn blue because they'd choked and stopped breathing, seeing them still have minor episodes of choking and the look of fear on their face - this mom isn't leaving her babies, anytime soon!

Before I was a SAHM, I often wondered how people did it.  Didn't they get bored?  Didn't they need to work? Get a break from being home all the time?  So many things I didn't understand until I did it... I recently found this article about being a SAHM to twins, and it summed things up nicely!  Being a SAHM is hard, but it is, by far, the best, more rewarding job in the entire world.  Waking up each day knowing I get to spend my entire day taking care of my babies makes waking up each day worth all the 'hard' stuff.  The questions I used to have, about being bored and feeling like you needed to go back to work... ha... There isn't time to be bored, honestly, someday's it is 5 o'clock when Brayton gets home that I realize I haven't brushed my teeth, or changed out of my pajamas!  

The girls are doing great and amaze me everyday!  I often look at them and feel as if they grew overnight!  It is hard to believe that 4 short months ago they were 3 lb babies, hooked up to wires and monitors and trapped in a heated box in the NICU... Now they are both over 10 lbs, smiling, laughing, kicking, squirming, showing emotion, gaining so much strength and constantly putting a smile on my face.  I feel like the luckiest Mama out there!  

4 month difference!
Bottom pic - Left Ellie, Right Jules
Top pic - Left Jules, Right Ellie

Happy 4 Months to my girls!