Wednesday, October 23, 2013

We're having a baby!! TWO BABIES!!

I apologize in advance.. I have not blogged since July.. I have been a bit preoccupied with the fact that I have TWO babies on the way!  I can say, July and August were not overly exciting aside from the HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, TWO BABIES!! shock that consumed our lives outside of work/school.  We did manage a mini-vaca over to Nevis for August break for a few days and it was incredibly relaxing and so needed.. I'll add a few pictures in here!


This is the little 'twin' cabin we stayed in! 

The Hermitage - Nevis


Aside from that, I apologize because this is going to be the world longest blog post ever... But, it is a thorough summary of our experiences with pregnancy, twins, and St. Kitts over the past 15 weeks!

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Since we’ve been together, we’ve both known that we wanted children, and sooner than later.  With life and then marriage and then vet school, things were put on hold.  We planned to leave St. Kitts pregnant so on our trip to Florida in April, we made some doctors appointments with doctors in the states and the process unofficially began.  We met with an obgyn, were healthy and ready to go, discussed with other doctors about medications and things and it started to feel real.  Back to the island in May and the waiting game began.

At the end of June, with the sure thought that getting pregnant would take some time, we began our adventure.  As the beginning of August approached and no period, Brayton was convinced “YOU DID NOT GET PREGNANT YOUR FIRST MONTH OFF OF BIRTH CONTROL.  IT’S SO INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY.”  I believed him, my body was just off because I had stopped my birth control after taking it for 10 years! 

Being a female, I couldn’t live with myself and NOT take a pregnancy test.  So on Saturday, August 3, 2013, I stopped at the drug store and bought three pregnancy tests, thinking I’d take one now, it’d be negative and save the other two for the upcoming month. 

I got home, didn’t tell Brayton I bought them, and snuck one in…. Checked back in on it a few minutes later and was quite certain I saw two pinks lines…. The conversation went something like this….
Leann – “Babe, I know you think it is nearly impossible to get pregnant the first month off of birth control, but I just took a test and I’m pretty sure it has two pink lines..”
Brayton..sort of smiling.. –“You took a pregnancy test and didn’t tell me?”
Leann .. sort of nervous.. – “Yah.. My period was supposed to start Wednesday and its Saturday and I have nothing yet..”
Brayton.. “Let me see!”

After viewing the test, we started scouring the internet for what a “truly positive two pink line” pregnancy test might look like.  We searched for possible due dates based on ovulation calendars and last periods.  Then, we sort of freaked.. This wasn’t supposed to happen so fast and so easy.. We’re due around April 9, 2014..That’s FINALS WEEK of SEVENTH SEMESTER!!  What are we going to do?  Solution: take another test.. it might be wrong..

About an hour later, we took another test… Two pink lines again..  At this point, most people hug and cry and celebrate… (don’t get me wrong, we’re ecstatic just shocked!) .. we laughed and said, “this is really going to mess things up… we need to change our tickets home, I cannot fly on April 3rd!  How are we going to explain to your mom that we need to change our tickets?  How are you going to be able to be home when I’m due the same day of your final exams?” 

The stress of it all, initially, made us sort of take a step back, and not be too excited..  3 days later, I took another test to “double check” and it was positive too.  It had to be real.. We were still in a bit of disbelief. 

Far before we decided to get pregnant, we decided we were not going to publicize it right away, because there are many things that can go wrong.  Once it became a reality, we decided to keep it good and quiet, for as long as we could.  I confided in one young female professor at Ross who I knew was currently pregnant and on island for advice on Doctors and that is the only person we told.  Our “goal” was to not tell our family until we go home in December, but every day that seems harder and harder.. We were going to try! 

About a week later, I still didn’t quite believe it, so we went and got a blood test.  (first St. Kitts “pregnancy medical” experience.).  I called earlier in the day, and the girl I spoke with said we could come anytime up until 4 and they could do the test.  She very poorly explained the directions to me, telling me it was behind the Chinese Restaurant in town… OK! Got it!  We get into town, and the Chinese Restaurant I know of, doesn’t have a “behind”.  So we start asking.. Person 1 sends us down and around (not the right way), person 2 sends up to the Sands Complex (completely opposite direction), person 3 manages to give directions and get us there.  Much to our surprise, it is located on a TINY one way road I didn’t even know existed, behind a Chinese restaurant I ALSO didn’t know existed.  Due to our driving around it was about 3:45 when we got inside.  I asked to have a blood test to confirm pregnancy and she said “Sorry, we stop doing that at 3:30.”  I replied with, “Well, I called a few hours ago and was told you did it till 4.” At this point the women gets up and yells some girls name and says “did you tell this women we do blood work till 4?  We stop at 3:30, don’t ever tell people that again,”  I felt bad for the poor girl!  Regardless, the women stomped around, did the blood work and EVEN processed it for us!  What a champ!  Ha!  She handed me an envelope about 15 minutes later and said “thanks”.  I was slightly confused and said, “is this a receipt?”  Upon opening it, I realized it was the result and it said “positive”.  I said “Does this mean I’m pregnant?” and she said “Yup.”  That my friends, was the end of that!

The days ahead passed, we dealt with the things we could deal with and made an appointment to see the recommended “baby doctor” on St. Kitts for Monday September 2, 2013 at 2:30 pm.

In the weeks that had passed, I have been feeling pretty good.  At around week 7, the nausea kicked in.  While I had not yet puked, or even had to do that sitting in front of the toilet bowl game, I had been nauseas for about 2 weeks straight now. (Sept 2, 2013 and I’m at 8 ¾  weeks – according to my calculations).  It sticks around, 24/7, gets a bit better when I eat and drink (I’ve been living off of ginger ale and a lot of toast) but doesn’t stay gone for long.  I think my sleepiness has been about the same as normal and my boobs are starting to grow and now after about 7 weeks they have stopped hurting on a daily basis!    

Our First Doctors Appointment

On September 2, 2013, we prepared for our first doctors appointment.  Being in St. Kitts, we knew it would likely be less than ideal, especially compared to what we are used to in the States.  We showed up for our 2:30 PM appointment at about 2:15, thinking we should be early to do paper work and get our name on the waiting list.  Upon walking in the doctors, we noticed that the waiting room (about 5 ft across and 10 ft long) and its 12-15 chairs were completely full.  We waited patiently in line to talk to the receptionist who was telling the women in front of us that she would need to come back around 4:30.  We just assumed that she was a walk-in… Assuming we were wrong.  She also had an appointment around the 2:30 time frame… Once we got to the desk, the conversation went something like this…

Me: “Hi.  Leann Hill, we have an appointment at 2:30.”
Receptionist: “Hi Leann.  I ‘ve been trying to call you all day but our Digicel lines have been down and our other phone wasn’t calling out, so I couldn’t call you.”
Me: “OK??”
Receptionist: “The doctor did not make it in on time this morning, so we are currently just finishing up our morning appointments, will have an hour off for lunch, then will begin our afternoon appointments.  Can you please come back at 4:30?”
Me: “Um, yah… Sure… Is there any paperwork that I am going to need to fill out that I could take and do now so it’s completed when I come back?”
Receptionist (looking very confused): “Paper work?  Oh no, you’ll do that when you get back…”
Me: “Ok, we’ll see you in a couple hours.”

Awesome first experience… Did I expect more?  No…

Attempt # 2 at the doctors… We showed up at 4:30, maybe even a little after this time, and walked in.  The waiting room was still full, with many of the same people who were there two hours ago.  We found a chair, yes A chair, to sit in.. and waited!  At this point, I still did not fill out ANY paperwork.. I was called back to see the nurse and she asked me some basic questions and took my height, weight and blood pressure, wrote them on a piece of cardstock tri-folded chart paper.  She never even asked me WHY I was there! 

After some more waiting, we went in to talk to the doctor.  He asked me some more questions, based a due date on a chart of when my last period was, and then sent us in my a room, barely big enough for the bed and ultrasound machine, and Brayton and I.  So the process began.  He moved the wand around, it was clear there was something in there.. And he kept moving the wand around, turning his head side to side, and not saying anything.  After about 3 minutes of this (note: Brayton was behind him so he couldn’t see his face) the conversation went something like this:

Me: “CAN YOU PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.. Is it good? Bad? Anything???” 
The doctor: “Well, its not good and its not bad…”
Me: “OK?...What does that mean?”
The doctor (moving the wand a bit more from side to side): “Do you see what I see?”
Me: “There is two isn’t there?”
The doctor: “Yes!”
Me: (lauging/giggling): “OMG, I knew it!”
At this point, I am really not sure what Brayton was doing or saying, I think he was just standing behind the doctor staring at the screen.

From this point on, the doctor went on to explain that they were identical twins, the kind we call Monochorionic – Diamniotic  (Mo-Di) which means that they are in one placenta (rather than 2 as most twins are) but they are each in their own sac.  Mo-di twins make this pregnancy a high-risk pregnancy, but the survival rate of twins in this type of pregnancy is high, especially with early discovery and continual monitoring of the pregnancy.  The doctor was really great, and I was very happy with him.  Brayton had just taking DI, so he was able to identify many things on the ultrasound, and the doctor spent a lot of time talking to Brayton about things, and being sure to show us everything!  I was very happy with the attention he gave us, especially since he was so busy! (Note: we later found out, he wasn’t late that day because he overslept – he delivers babies at the hospital, and can’t leave if he’s in the middle of things, so often he is late arriving, putting his appointments behind schedule.. a bit more reassuring!)

8 week ultrasound




8 week ultrasound


Once we went home, I was just in shock, excitement, planning mode…the normal emotions.  We decided that we could NOT wait till Christmas to tell everyone because I am awful with secrets, thought our parents would be upset if we didn’t tell them until 6 months in and if there were any complications that required me to get on a plane and fly home, I wanted them to be aware!  We decided though, not to tell anyone until after our next appointment on October 2nd due to the risk of miscarriage and any complications in the first trimester.  Since then, Brayton has been doing a ton of research, medical research.  We have discovered that our only major risk is TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndrome).  This happens when the twins share blood via their individual sacs, and can be very harmful to the babies if one gets too much blood, and one is not getting enough.  I have been eating a great deal of protein as that is said to help prevent it, and after this next appointment, we will be going to the doctors every 2 weeks to be sure we are checking out for any/all signs of TTTS.  If we see signs of it, there are specialists in the states who can do laser surgery to separate the sacs and is generally effective in saving the twins.  We are hoping that we never get to this point, but are prepared for all possible outcomes. 


Aside from the medical worries of pregnancy, things have not been too bad for me.  The morning sickness, or should I call it 24/7 nausea, has been taking a toll on me.  It began around week 7, and at the end of week 12 is still going strong.  I still have not thrown up, but have had my share of gagging sprees, and am forcing myself to eat on a 2 – 3 hour basis, as that has been the only thing that helps ease the nausea.  Sept 29th was been the FIRST day that I have woke up, eaten, and made it through ½ the day without any major nausea feelings or gagging spells.. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel?  Lately though, I have been having some decent days, more like ½ days, and if I feel good in the morning, the night is bad, if I have a good day, the next day is awful… I just hope that maybe this is starting to lighten up‼   My sleeping hasn’t been any more than it was before, except for the fact that I am not working full time, so I don’t HAVE to be up, so I haven’t been getting up and feeling awful in the morning, makes it far easier to drop Brayton and school and go back to bed! 

This upcoming week we will be sharing our news with family and then via FB for the rest of the world to know, assuming all is well at our appointment on Wednesday.  We are not sure yet how to tell everyone.  We wanted to somehow get everyone together, but that is not looking possible, so it seems like lots of skype calls coming up Wednesday night =)  Looking forward to what lies ahead, ESPECIALLY once the morning sickness goes away, and I don’t have to hide my ever growing belly bump! 

The time between appointment one and appointment two (when we were sharing the news) was the LONGEST 4 weeks of my life.. Aside from feeling like crap all the time, it was SO hard to keep a secret… Finally appointment number 2 was here!








Beginning of September (10 weeks)



Appointment #2 – October 2, 2013
Our second appointment actually went smooth!  We showed up on time, waiting about an hour (average for here), saw the doctor, everything looked great, babies were measuring at 12 weeks (and I was 12 week pregnant), no concerns at the time.. We just couldn’t wait to get out of there and go home and call our families! 

Making the calls..
I wish I had the time and memory to recollect each word of every conversation from this night, as we shared our exciting news… But I don’t..
It didn’t go quite as planned with skyping as many people as we could at one time and sharing with them all via skype, everyone was out and about and had to be caught on their own time!

Mom and Aunt Lo were about to head into a conference, and a quick facetime conversation made them late.. but it was worth it!  Mom was shocked, I think more upset that I had kept it a secret from her for so long (let me tell you, it was NOT easy).   The call to Lyndi and Travis was first, they weren’t sure they wanted to believe us!  Joedy screamed and shouted, we have it on video.  Dad laughed and kept saying, “no way, twins?!”  We have his on video too!  Bit got mad because she wants twins.. it’s not too late for that sista!  Gerald and Megan were totally shocked, and though their internet wasn’t great and we were delayed, it was so great to see their reactions!  Gram was ecastic, Mommom and Poppop were so excited and even more excited that they get to be there for Christmas with us… Overall, everyone was excited and shocked and we were just SO glad to not have a secret anymore!  Our ultrasound picture on facebook traveled quickly and it wasn’t long before everyone and their brother knew our big news!  After about 4 hours of skype calls, we crashed, feeling completely and utterly relieved, loved and so excited! 

The next three weeks…

Since that night, today marks three weeks.  I have been feeling better and better everyday.  Eating on an hourly basis has helped, I have a bit more energy and drive to get out of bed and the nausea is slowing down.  What a relief, I was starting to think I’d never feel human again!  This week I even managed to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill and am going to try to get back into Yoga tomorrow night.  Monday, Oct 28th, we have our next appointment and can hopefully find out the gender of our babes!  I cannot wait! 

Oct 17 (14 weeks)





From this point on, I will do my best to be more up to date on the blog with pregnancy and baby things! 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Life's big moments..

2 years ago, one of my biggest life moments happened.. I married my best friend, my companion, my better half, my love, my life.. my husband.  As I sat here today and recollected back on the past two years, I find it hard to believe that it has even been two years. Time has a way of simultaneously making us wish it would go faster and yet making us beg for it to slow down.

I remember everything about that week in OBX.. From the unexpected plane ride to Oregon for a job interview 5 days before the wedding, finally arriving in Virginia to my soon-to-be husband, heading to the Wedding Party House in OBX, exhaustion from flying across the country.  Swimming, beaching, partying, drinking, eating, being with the best friends I could ask for in a big house doing nothing but celebrating for 5 days before the wedding!  Having the BIGGEST, worst hang-over of my life the day before the wedding, not being able to eat at Rehearsal, getting ready that next day.. my heart racing the entire time.. Walking down that long wooden path with my big, tough Dad who I've never seen cry, crying.. Giving that last hug to my dad who didn't want to let go, seeing all the people who love us there supporting us on our big day. Having one of the most important people in my life standing in front of us performing our wedding ceremony, kissing my husband for the first time, bystanders on the beach taking pictures, the wind whipping my dress, sisters standing by my side, making everything ok.. An amazing reception, full of fun, good food and great company.  I know I am jaded, but our wedding was amazing - and we did it all on our own!

The people who made it happen, the family and friends who drove the 12 hours down to support us, being together.. I wouldn't change anything about it (except maybe that day before hang-over).  It was a day of pure bliss.

2 years later, its hard to believe what we've been through..
About a month after getting married, moving to St. Kitts.  Living in 5 different places since then, making major life sacrifices for ourselves and each other.  Learning to live a new and different life, taking a honeymoon phase and turning it into a vet school, foreign country.. we have to live HOW? phase.. And all of it, making us so strong.

With only two years under our belt, the experiences we have had and the things we have been through make it feel like 20 years!  I cannot wait to see where we actually are at 20 years!

Life is good, and its only going to get better from here on out <3





















   

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Finding peace with life... with some ranting first!

I don't remember last summer.. I didn't think it was this hard to be away from home...

Maybe that is because it was my first summer "away".  Reminiscing back to Christmas, I think it was the same... The first one away from home wasn't so bad... that second one, took a chunk from me!  I think that is how summer is this year.

I also think this might be the time I deactivated my Facebook last year...maybe last summer wasn't so great too and I just forgot... Or maybe I was so looking forward to 10 days with my family, it helped the time pass quickly, while this year I don't have visitors to look forward too..

While I am on this rant, it is also summer is St. Kitts, so while it is ALWAYS hot, it is even hotter now, we sweat while sitting, and often times the a/c struggles to beat the heat.  I am working Summer Camp at school, which is so much harder than teaching except that we wear sweats and gym shorts and its acceptable! =)  I also know that when August ends I am done at the Prep School.. While I am looking forward to that, it is also hard to pass by those kids, the hugs and love and know that in 6 weeks that daily love is no longer..

And to continue my rant, seeing everyone from home doing the river, weekend boat outings, holidays, summer traditions, have babies, being together with families and friends.. all of it.. makes me miss home, and the love, hugs and traditions that make that part of my life complete.

ANDDDD....

with every rant comes a realization.. that life isn't that bad!  I have so much to be thankful for, and so many great things in my life..

How many people can say they have spent over 2 years, living on a Caribbean island, helping the most important person in your entire life fulfill their dream? Not many!  But I CAN!  And, I AM!

How many people can say they have stepped outside their comfort zone, taken risks, lived a life they never expected and learned so much from it?  Not many!  But I CAN! And, I AM!  

How many people have given up "money" for life, dreams, future success and immediate poverty?!  Not many!  But I CAN!  And, I AM!  

How many people have felt what its like to move away, to another country, to feel the hardships of a 2nd-3rd world country, yet make it, and come out a bigger and better person?  Not many!  But I CAN! And, I AM!  

How many people have left HOME, made a new home, new friends, and had the opportunity to make  those friends, lifelong friends that will be the only people in your life to understand the life you had over that 2 1/2 years? Not many!  But, I CAN! And, I AM!  

St. Kitts is hard, being away from home is hard... But this part of my life, has taught me SO much..  While I often complain, look for the bad and find the negatives because it makes me "feel better" for the moment being...What really makes me feel EVEN better, is taking the time to really realize that I have everything I could ask for.. and SO much more than I would have if I never left home.  I have learned who I am, discovered the world, hardships, poverty, love, friendship, kindness, sharing, all of it.

I often struggle to believe that the hardships I see and face everyday are really a building block to making me a stronger, better, more well-rounded person but they are.  And believing and making that a reality, brings peace to my life, happiness to my sadness, contentedness to my homesickness, and a new brightness to my life.

When this part of my life is over, I know I will look back and wish I could come back, and do it all again because this has made me stronger, better person and will forever help me be more appreciative of all the aspects of my life!

So today, in finding peace with my life, I take the time to realize that all the home, family, friends, "things", I see on Facebook and hear about are there, not to make me sad or feel 'left out and homesick', but to make me realize, I am the bigger, better, stronger person.  I am taking a risk, living a life so many will never get the opportunity to have, and I should be, and am, so grateful for my husband, for giving me this opportunity to grow, learn, and discover and to become, a person that is stronger than I was before, braver than I have ever been , and forever changed, for the better.

Thank you Brayton, for causing me struggle that makes me grow, giving me hardships that I have to turn into building blocks, and loving me  -  every step of the way!    

   





       

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Falling behind and catching up

Over the past couple months, life has been crazy - yet really uneventful - and I have been awful about taking pictures, blogging, or doing much of anything except working, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and other normal life things!  Tonight I bring you up to date on our lives.

Since returning from Florida, Brayton has been full force back into classes.  He has begun 5th semester, which everyone says is the semester where vet school finally starts to be more fun, hands-on and applicable to what you came here to do!  After almost 6 weeks, Brayton is doing great and really enjoying his time.  He has been learning about and getting to do a variety of hands on things, gets to wear green scrubs (only certain people in the doctor field can wear green!), and is taking all the memorization from the past 4 semesters and applying it!  He is working so hard, studying lots, and still managing to be an amazing, helpful husband!  I'm pretty lucky!

As for me, since returning the past 6 weeks have been a bit more challenging..  Since we are leaving in April of next year, I suspected that I wouldn't be working at the prep school, especially as a classroom teacher, next year.  I was hoping for something to help fulfill my time, keep me close to 'my kids', and continue to provide me with an income and insurance since I cannot work anywhere else on the island!  A few weeks ago, I was told that I would not have a contract for next year as there were many changes happening at the school, positions were limited and I was leaving in April.  I knew it was coming, but the reality hit a bit hard.  I have been working at the prep school since arriving on the island, these 1st and 2nd graders have been the solid point in my life down here, have given my something worth waking up for everyday, and the thought of not getting their hugs everyday put a pit in my stomach...  The hardest part was, they didn't know, I couldn't tell them, and all my first grade babies kept saying, ".. when we have you next year..." and my 2nd grade babies (many of whom I've had for 2 years) kept saying "...we'll still see you everyday.." and every time those words left their mouths, and I had to say "..yah.. maybe.." my heart shattered into a million little unrepairable pieces.  What made much of this harder, and this has always been hard working at the Prep School, is about 4 of my students are leaving the island/prep school for good, and I have to say "see ya later.." (Side note:  I am all teary eyed just writing this!)  Tomorrow, one of the girls I have had for 2 years is leaving.. moving back to the states.. and I KNOW it is going to be a rough day.. Those are the worst!

While finding out the news of being 'done' is August has been hard, it has also been a huge motivator for me to get out, and find some volunteering opportunities on the island.  I currently am already involved in the Special Olympics, and am really excited about the opportunities that lie ahead of me! I have met some amazing people, made some great local connections and am getting more and more excited to find new, different, and exciting things that fill my heart, time and give me something to put my energy towards.  The future of my time on St. Kitts currently (tentatively) includes:

1) Special Olympics Swimming Program
2) Working to help build/create a Special Olympics Office on island because there is not one now
3) Volunteering at the St. Kitts Children's Home in a variety of ways
4) Teaming up with some long time SK residents to create and build a swimming program for locals because many do not know how to swim
5) Volunteering at Ade's Place (an adult group home for disabled adults)
6) Possibly volunteering in the local schools, primarily focusing on the Special Education population
7) Subbing and helping at the Prep School
8) Tutoring, 'playdates', and hanging out with my OLD students!

and of course, finding time for me, the beach, my dogs and some R&R!



Tomorrow is the end of the 2nd to last week of the school year.. I have 6 days left with my kids (except 2 who are done for the year/forever tomorrow) and then have 8 weeks of summer camp until I say "See Ya Later" to my daily adventures at the prep school and begin the next step in my St. Kitts life!  Lately, when I have been filled with emotion, often not knowing how to express exactly how I am feeling, or what to do or say, I look for quotes.. I really like many of these! They seem to be the simple words, that make everything in life seem possible, doable, easy and obtainable.. no matter the struggle.


I look forward to sharing my (and Brayton's) upcoming adventures with you, as we spend the last 10 months on the island!

I really love this one.. I feel like the more local children I meet and organizations here I get involved in, the more difference I can make. <3


Enough said!  

For anyone who has never heard of sevenly.org - I HIGHLY recommend you check them out.  They sell shirts and other things and each week the money they raise goes to an organization that needs the financial support.  I wish I could afford to buy something from them each and every week.. They do amazing things!  








 



Some Pictures:

Brayton's rescue baby bird... It ended up dying, but he tried! 

These pictures are from the first EVER (yes, pathetic, we've lived here for 2 years.. and its our 1st!) Hike/Hash!  It was cloudy so the pictures aren't as great as they could be - but it was beautiful! 









And, once again, I will end this blog with the song that inspires me to do and be better!