Confessions of a Mom....Part 2

About 5 months ago, I wrote Confessions of a Mom... As I just reread that post and reflected on the things I wrote then, I realize how each of them were still so true, so still a part of our daily life and many of them are building blocks to where I am today.  Being a Mom is the biggest blessing I've ever received in my life.  I just said to the girls today, "I don't even know what I did before you.  I cannot imagine life any other way!"

Some of these confessions are going to build off of previous ones.. Some of new.. Some aren't really even confessions and are facts of our life.  Here we go:

Confession Number 1: Going in public with twins automatically gives people the right to play 100 questions with you...At least according to them!  
This confession is a continuation of Confession Number 1 from my previous post.  Here is an example.  Today we ran out to do some errands and we each wore a baby.  When people saw me or Brayton apart they would just smile.  If we walked up to one another, that same person who had just smiled at us, is now full fledge drilling us... "Are they twins?" "Girls? Boys? One of each?" "How old are they?" "Who is older?" "Are they identical?" "My first cousins wife on my dads side had twins!" "You must be so busy!" "Oh, wow!" Seriously, I think I could fill a book with all the comments people make... I can't even imagine what the parents of triplets go through... Or even parents of twins with other children.  Come on people!  I know they are cute, I know twins is a special thing, I KNOW I am blessed (although there are very few people who actually say that), and I KNOW I have better things to do than spend 5 minutes talking to every third person that passes me by!  Just in case you didn't know, I have a limited amount of time to get out of the house, to my destination, run my errands and get back home before you see two hungry, angry babies and you are REALLY cramping my style with your 100 questions!

Totally not implying that moms with one baby have lots of time on their hands.. Just found this funny with regards to the above! 

Confession Number 2: My babies are 10 months old, and I am still the only one to have put them in their carseats to go in the car. 
OK, Brayton has a couple times, but I usually go check it before we drive!
Why you're crazy!  Such a control freak!  Take a break!  Develop some trust! Yes, I hear you muttering those things to yourself as you read that.  I am okay with that, you are welcome to call me those things, in fact, I invite you to because they are true!  I all too often see people post pictures of their kids in their car seats with their chest clips at their belly button, with their straps twisted, with the winter coats on, forward facing too early, etc. etc. etc....  Unfortunately, I am often not brave enough to say anything to those people because I don't judge choices other parents make, and I don't want anyone to think I do, but it scares the shit out of me to think people are okay with their kid riding in a car like that.  Maybe they truly don't realize the consequences of it, maybe they don't think it can happen to them.  All it would take is one wrong move, on the part of anyone out there, and that kid, the one buckled in totally wrong, might not be okay.  I swear parents, I am NOT judging you, but my heart would break for you if something happened to your child that could have been so easily prevented..  Now there are people who take car seat safety to the extreme, like me and I appreciate that.  And when the time comes, I will take the time to educate anyone taking my children in their car (if that even ever happens, says the crazy Mom) on how they need to be secured.  Now, here you are muttering again, well, she thinks she knows everything!  No, no I don't.  I am certain I have made mistakes, in fact I know I have but I still take every effort to make sure they are as perfect as they can be when securing them in my vehicle.  I also hope that anyone who sees me doing it incorrectly, would correct me.

Here are some articles for you:
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/mom-shares-car-seat-concern-after-sons-death-11-month-old-cameron-ejected-when-chest-buckle-broke11282014

http://www.cdc.gov/motorvehiclesafety/child_passenger_safety/cps-factsheet.html

"While 96% of parents and caregivers believe their child safety seats are installed correctly, research shows that 7 out of 10 children are improperly restrained"
       http://www.seatcheck.org/news_fact_sheets_statistics.html

Confession Number 3: The days are flying by, all merging into one and I just want time to slow down! 
I am SOO thankful to be a SAHM and get to spend every day with my girls.  At this time in our life, it would probably be beneficial for me to be working, but the thought of having to leave them puts a huge pit in my stomach and I will sacrifice income and the things that come along with it to be home with these babies every day.  Sure, it is causing some stressful, challenging life circumstances for us that could otherwise be lessened, but I have learned to live minimally in the few years past.  Living on a Caribbean Island helped me learn a lot about life, who I am and living simply and for that I am grateful.  I do wonder how I would do it if I were working though.. There are days where I don't do anything but clean, cook, laundry, and busy work stuff around the house during the day while they are sleeping (which is usually between 2-5 hours!) and by the evenings (the time I would normally be home, spending time with them if I were working) I can't seem to get everything done and spend the QT I want snuggling my babies.  Between cooking dinner, making lunches, cleaning up, dishes, bed preparation and last feedings, the time from 4 pm - 11 pm seems to come and go in a flash.  If I had to compile all the 'stuff' I do all day long into that time also, how would I do it?!  I give so much credit to those working Moms who find the time!  I hope its not something I have to discover too soon!

Confession Number 4: We are still exclusively breastfeeding, combined with Baby Led Weaning and it's going great!
I feel very fortunate to have been blessed with an excessive milk supply in which to provide my babies.  They are still breastfeeding and will continue to until they are ready to stop.  I am in support of extended breastfeeding and the positive impacts research has shown it has for children.  No, I don't plan on breastfeeding until they are 3 and 4 years old, but we will continue to nurse after one year.  When we began solids, I did quite a bit of research and learned about Baby Led Weaning.  The ideals behind it are babies who are breastfed have control over the amount they eat, when to stop, how much and how quickly they get milk and that control should be continued into their solid feedings.  BLW does not do any pureed foods, and from day 1 of solids babies are given finger sized, soft pieces of food and allowed to feed themselves.  This gives them the continued opportunity to have that control over their food intake.  With BLW, it is also said that "food before one is just for fun" and that BFing should still be their primary source of nutrients.  Since we began solids, the girls have done a fabulous job experimenting with food, at their own pace.  They have discovered their gag reflex, how to deal with it, how to pick up and chew on food, and are learning to love a wide variety of foods.  I think my favorite part of this is that all 4 of us sit down to dinner at night, I put their food on their trays and they eat while we eat.  There is no spoon feeding, or forced eating at all.  They talk, play, make a mess, watch us eat and we have family time.  It is wonderful!  To go along with this, we are making every effort to keep sugar out of the girls diet for as long as possible, which the exception of natural fruit sugars.  I know I can't do it forever, and I have learned sugar is in everything, but I have also learned that our 'need' for bad food is learned.  There are alternatives and I hope to continue on this path for a while.  I think the hardest part will be getting support from everyone else.

Confession Number 5: I still write everything down!
While the girls were in the NICU I started a journal of our daily happenings because there was so much going on and so many changes that I wanted to keep track of everything and it also helped me to remember when I got the chance to send the new information to Brayton in St. Kitts.  Once the girls got home from the NICU, I really wanted to keep them on a similar eating every three hours schedule and needed to remember when I gave them vitamins or other important information that my post pregnancy mom brain simply couldn't remember.  At that time I began writing down what time they ate and for how long.  10 months later, and I still journal what we do, developmental milestones, or anything else I feel important on a daily basis.  I also still write down what time they eat, for how long, when they got medicine and what is was, when we have poopy diapers (had to start that after starting solids because they became less frequent and I could never remember who pooped when!) and when and how much I pump..... Yes, I still pump daily..  

Confession Number 6: I miss a sense of community in my life.
The life circumstances in St. Kitts make it impossible not to be part of the wonderful, yet small, community that we Rossies have there.  The Prep School also presented me with an amazing community of people.  On the island, you were always surrounded by people who were going through the exact same thing you were.  They understood what it was like to live there, the financial challenges, the perks, the downsides, the relationship challenges, and everything in between.  We all supported each other, and it was always easy to find someone or many people to surround yourself with.  I miss that, and I think that is why I miss the island, and especially the Prep School, so much some days.  Since moving to Ithaca, I have met some great Mom's who I am very thankful for but being alone most of the time and having two babies has made it challenging to get out and involve myself in the community here as much as I would have liked to.  I miss having people to talk to and hang out with and I miss having people who are going through similar life events around me.

Confession Number 7: I can't imagine not having twins!  
I have had a lot of people who only have one baby, or have two at different ages say to me, "I can't imagine having two babies at the same age!"  I often like to respond with, "I can't imagine NOT having two babies!"  When two is all I know, it's all I know, and I can't imagine it any other way!  Is it hard? YES!  Are there days when I feel defeated and exhausted?  YES! Are there times when I think I could be doing so much more? Many!  One thing that I think Moms of one baby have the benefit of is more cuddle time, extra snuggles, and Mama and baby one on one time.  While they have that benefit, cuddle time, snuggle time and Mama and baby time with two is simply incredible.  Double the love, double the cuddles!  I do have to admit though, there are times when I would love to just snuggle in and cuddle and often can't because I have another baby that needs me.  When it comes down to it, I will sacrifice that bit of extra cuddle time (which I always find time to make up for!!!) for having two perfect little girls who NEED me, all day, every day!! Beyond anything regarding me, the love my girls have for each other is simply amazing.  They have a forever best friend and to me, that is the biggest blessing of all!    

Confession Number 8: Winter Sucks... Enough said! 
Remember that time, the parking lot was filled with slushy, wet, snow, you had two babies in the car, it was 20 degrees outside, and you have to get them, the diaper bag and yourself into each of your errands spots.. That was all after spending 30 minutes finding your car under the snow bank because you haven't left the house in so long it's buried in... Yah, I'll take warm back any day now!!

Giving Thanks

The past month is one where we all take the extra time to be thankful for the things we have, the people in our lives and the goodness that surrounds us.  While giving thanks is something we should all do more frequently, Thanksgiving tends to bring that out in us.  Over the past month I have tried to be more aware of the good things in my life, and let the stressful things fall to the wayside.  As we move into the month of December and Christmas is quickly coming, we are again recognizing the positive blessings we have in our life and giving thanks for those things.  Sometimes the stress of the season and the expectations society has put on Christmas, make us look at it all the wrong way.  Let us all try to take a step back, be grateful for the things we have in our lives, and not let the stressful things bring us down or take the positive spirit out of the Holidays!

This year, we have so much to be grateful for, blessing to be counted, and love to share!

We are in America!  It is hard to believe but this was our first Thanksgiving 'home' since November 2010!!  We were blessed to spend this Thanksgiving with Joedy and Gerald at our place in Ithaca.  It was just the 6 of us, with enough food for an army.  We have perfect, healthy, lovable, gorgeous baby girls that light up our life each and every day.  We have a roof over our head,  and food in our cupboards! We have vehicles that get us from point a to point b.  We have great animals, friends near and far, and great educations.  We are warm, clothed, and have a purpose in each day.  The list really goes on and on!

Unfortunately, we often take the blessings we have for granted and find the negative aspects of our life taking the forefront of our mind.  This year I have been struggling with this, but am trying very hard to be grateful for the things I have and remembering that the season of christmas is so much more than gifts and money.

It is my goal as I move through the month of December to find the good, be thankful for what I have, not let the stress of life take over, and cherish the moments with my family and friends.  I hope each of you can do that too.

This image has been floating around facebook and I really like it!
     

With the month of November already come and gone, and December quickly passing by I take this moment to be grateful for the best blessings in my life.   I am so grateful for my girls.  Each and every day they make me smile, laugh and give me purpose.  I am so grateful for an incredibly hard working husband, who is so close to the end of this very long journey of becoming a Doctor and I am so grateful for our families who do so much to support and love us.  

World Prematurity Day

Today is World Prematurity Day.  It is a day to celebrate premature babies who have overcome the many obstacles they face, pray for the ones who are in the midst of those struggles and cherish the memories of the ones who were taken from us far too early.

As today progressed, I found myself taking the time to give extra hugs and kisses (as if that is even possible, they already get so many!) and being so thankful for the extra time I got on the outside with my babies, but also for their extremely good health.  As babies born 8 weeks early, we could have faced many complications and while we did face some, we were so blessed for an overall smooth road through the NICU.  From day 1, we were incredibly blessed with small, but healthy, happy babies who grew and developed better than we could have wished for.  My premature babies have grown into big, beautiful, talented, funny, smart, completely perfect 9 month old princesses!

I often sit down to write blogs, and find myself taking a few days to get all the right words on the page.  I want to share parts of our life with those who read, but also want to keep what we share in the internet world monitored and brief.  There are so many wonderful things in our lives right now that I could fill pages with everything about our day, how they sleep, what they eat, how they play, their growth patterns, etc.. etc.. etc.. but really, no one really wants to read that, so I try to keep it short, sweet, and from the heart.  With that being said, I sometimes feel like I say the same things every time, with my reiteration of how much I love my girls, how much my heart continues to swell every day and how incredibly proud I am of the little girls they are becoming.  Truth be told, that exactly how it is, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

We recently reached another big milestone, or at least what I consider a big milestone.  Maybe these milestones that appear BIG to me, appear BIG because they come with changes that I am not ready for!  6 months was incredibly hard, as I blogged about in the past, and 9 months also hit me like a brick.  It was that time where they really started progressing in their skills, I packed away swings and more baby clothes while beginning the search for the 'next size up' car seat and pulling out big girl 'things'.  As a Mom, it is sometimes the tiniest things that are the hardest, like putting away a swing.  We haven't used our swings in a couple months but the fact that I actually, finally, had to come to terms with packing them up and not having them taking up our already limited floor space tore at my heart strings.  It was one of the many things that meant my babies were growing up and becoming big girls.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love this stage and seeing them make huge discoveries and watching them progress through their developmental stages is a beautiful thing.  This, like our 6 month milestone, will pass, we will move on, continue to grow and learn and I am sure as February approaches I will find an entire new struggle that I have to work through.

For now, I will cherish each and every second, minute, hour, day, week, and month and be a Mom who is so blessed to spend each and every day loving everything about the life my girls have given me.

Happy World Prematurity Day to my most perfect premature big girls! <3

An overdue update!

Where has the time gone?  It has been almost 3 months since I last updated my blog, and so much has happened in that time!

The month of September was filled with exciting events, including some waterfall hiking, Bachelorette Parties, Bachelor Parties, a magnificent wedding, a 7 month birthday, starting solid foods and a visit from Mommom and Poppop!  We loved having some quality time with Mommom and Poppop and they sure loved getting to love on us!  We also had some family pictures taken with Amanda Lessner Photography!  She is so great!

The bottom on Taughannock Falls

Mommom and Poppop <3

Bachelorette Party 

A little over three years ago when Brayton and I got married, we never imagined that our wedding night would be the beginning of another beautiful relationship, but with a few too many drinks and a whole lot of fun we were not the only new beginning!  Travis and Lyndi, also known as Brayton's brother and my sister, found themselves falling for one another that day too!  A series of events that will not be shared here led to beginning of a wonderful relationship.  Two people who were polar opposites, who no one imagined would last in a relationship ended up being the best thing to ever happen to either of them.  They bettered each other, in every way, fell in love, bought a house, and had the most perfect wedding!  It was a day we will cherish forever, filling with laughter, happiness, tears, singing, dancing, and more love than I knew could exist in one place at one time!  We are so incredibly lucky to have such wonderful families and to have a brother and sister (Aunt and Uncle) who will forever be extra close to us!

Dad is so incredibly creative!  The girls ride in the wedding! 

Dollar Dance with the bride and groom!

October seemed to come and go with the blink of an eye with busy weeks, many colds and weekends filled with visitors and weekend road trips!  We were finally able to make a trip to Albany to visit Bit and Tim's new home, and it was beautiful!  This weekend also marked Elliana's first cold... Runny eyes and nose, cough and congestion.. No fun!  As is expected, her cold quickly became Juliette's first cold, which quickly became Brayton's cold, which in turn became my cold.. Luckily the cycle ended with me and we all recovered from about 4 weeks of germs fluttering around our house!  The girls also got their first TWO bottom teeth during the course of the colds and were remarkably content through it all!  I am not sure if I can account it to the Amber Necklaces or just overall happy babies!  Hopefully the rest of the teeth have the same outcome!  October also gave us two wonderful weekends of visitors.  Joedy and Andrea came and spent some time with us, we were able to go catch some of the beautiful views of Fall in Ithaca and hit up the Thrift Stores!

Overlooking Taughannock Falls

October was a big month for my parents as they celebrated their 30th Wedding Anniversary.  This day and age, finding people who demonstrate the TRUE meaning of love, faithfulness, partnership, family and forever seems to be a rarity.  I feel so blessed to have witnessed and grown up with that in my parents.  They are such a blessing and I can't imagine life without them supporting us all, always!  They are two people who would and DO do anything for everyone.  We were fortunate enough to spend the weekend celebrating with them by taking our own Wine Tour.  We spent the day enjoying the spectacular views of Cayuga Lake and wine country and what fun it was!

30 years, 3 kick ass daughters, 3 great son-in-laws, 2 perfect granddaughters.. Life is good <3

October also marked the girls first Halloween!  We didn't really do anything but I sure had fun dressing them up and taking their pictures!  That's what counts, someday when they look back, they will have pictures of their first Halloween (and every single other day of their life) to cherish!  They played the roles of Nautical Ballerinas and Turtles, and they did it oh so well!

And in the mix of all that crazy October business.. My babies turned 8 MONTHS OLD!!!

WE ARE HOW OLD?!?

Now we are here a third of the way through November, almost to the 9 month mark... My babies are not babies anymore, they are big girls with big attitudes and amazing personalities.. More about them to come in the 9 month blog post!    

Let them be little...because they are only that way for a while..

6 months was a tough milestone for this Mama.. It seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital, making the decision to deliver our babies, seeing their tiny bodies crawling with wires and tubes for the first time, staring into their big blue eyes look as they glanced up at ours, feeling their warmth as they snuggled against our chests, being able to hold them in the palm of our hands. Those tiny creatures that are our babies, those precious gifts that we made and carried, now in this scary world ready to take it on with us by their sides.  Where have those 6 months gone?  My tiny babies crawling with wires and tubes are now big girls who smile and giggle.  Those big blue eyes now glisten full of love and life, the snuggles that have only gotten bigger and better and those babies who used to fit in the palm of our hands now fill our hands and heart with more love and pride than we ever knew existed.  

If you look at my last post, you will see this exact picture one month ago.. Only my babies were not nearly this big!

This week, I have spent far less time worrying about housework and I have spent more time snuggling in with my babies.. We've always snuggled a lot, but this week we've taken extra time to cherish the moments and get as much Mama/baby time as possible.  I have loved it, it has filled my heart with so much happiness, but even with all that happiness I still feel this ping of sadness that my babies are growing so fast.  I want time to slow down, life to pause for a while so I can cherish these moments a bit longer.  As I accept that there is no slowing down of time, and its only going to go faster, I find the time each day to cherish my moments with them, to take in every little thing they do, to capture their perfection with a photo and to remember that each day I find more love and happiness in these girls.  The bigger they get, the bigger my heart gets and the more pride I feel and I look forward to that growing with them every single day for many years to come.

On Wednesday, I found myself just staring into their big blue eyes saying, "6 months ago at this time, I saw you for the first time", "6 months ago at this time you were whisked away from me", "6 months ago at this time, I had still only seen you for a brief second".  Thursday, I found myself continuing on that path but this time saying, "6 months ago at this time, I got to hold you for the first time".  That was a day I will never forget, their tiny 3 lb bodies being placed against mine.  All the pain I was feeling vanishing and my heart opening and being filled with a love I've never known before.  It's crazy how 6 months later, everyday that I lift these babies up and place them in my arms, I feel that same feeling in my heart...

Aside from my dramatic transition into the second half of the girls first year of life, we've had some exciting firsts!  A couple weeks ago my parents were camping, and we cherished our time with them while enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.  The girls even got some time to play in the kiddie pool.  They showed their enjoyment in the arching of their backs to float and further submerge themselves as they smiled and relaxed into the water.  They were floating babies, happy and cool!  This past weekend, the girls had their first river experience and loved it!  Their tiny bodies were swallowed by their life jackets as they slept their way across the river.  They dipped into the freezing cold water and quickly adjusted to its temperatures finding enjoyment in splashing and swimming.  They napped liked queens in the comfort of a rocking boat and ended every day happy and exhausted.  Life is good!      

Naps in the camper <3

Loving the pool! 

It doesn't get any more beautiful than this!